I can't remember when I last spoke to you all so I will start from lunar new year at the end of January. My plans to go to Japan failed when I realised that flights were about £350 return and then my plans to go to Busan also went out the window when I was told that a bus at lunar new year took up to 10 hours and the trains were fully booked. Then a very disgruntled me (knowing I don't get a day off until July now) got a phone call from my friend in Gwangju telling me that her and 3 friends were coming to Seoul for 4 days and would I be around. This developed into five people being in my shoebox apartment for four days and having so much fun.
Since then things have been quite ordinary. I was in a car that crashed which always livens things up. There's nothing like near death to brighten your week- 5am going about 60mph on the freeway in a car with a sleepy driver heading straight for a 5 foot concrete road block isn't an ideal night but hey I'm still here and as a friend said, (before he asked if we were OK, may I add) "well it's a story to tell". We swerved and still hit it but we were all in one piece- except the car that was very much not. Strangely a very sleepy me had decided to make sure everyone in the car was wearing their seat belt before we set off whilst making some comment about princess Di. And just in case you were wondering, the second before you meet your maker doesn't involve any life flashing before your eyes moments it's just frozen 'oh my god I'm going to die' panic.
Oh my teeth- A filling fell out a few weeks ago and, in true Emily style, I left it for a few months until I had a day at school in agony. By my last lesson I was lying on the desk grunting and about to track Mr Nurofen down and sue him for false advertising "pain relief for migraine, backpain and toothache" really?. I was in that much of a grump that my boss came in and gave me some cash and wagged her finger towards a dentist across the road, face like thunder. I walked into the clinic and would have walked out if I wasn't in so much pain. It was all marble and lillies and plasma TVs on the dentist chair. Anyway I had no time for penny pinching and I was brave and had an injection and two fillings. After this I mentioned that on the way to Korea the back of one of my front teeth had cracked and some of it had fallen off but it wasn't hurting so I had forgotten about it (ha ha I really am my own worst enemy), he told me to come back the next day. Anyway the next day came and he gave me three injections (it was a sight to see- dribbling down my chin trying to garble "anyong haseyo" to the bus drivers on the way into my house) anyway, he drilled the whole tooth down to a stump and I looked like a hillbilly and then he reconstructed it over two days with a white resin stuff and lasered it in with some kid of gun- goggles were also involved to my delight. I honestly can't tell the difference between the real bit and the resin bit- I'm amazed. Anyway I went into the dentist's office to talk about the teeth and to pay for all three days work and as I'm braced for the bill when he said "W70,000" which is about 36 pounds. The filling that had fallen out in the first place cost me 46 pounds on the NHS. I love this country.
I have also had an eye test with no appointment, chosen my glasses, had them made and collected them, all within the space of an hour for under 30 quid.
So other than my crumbling body-
School is much the same- my kinder class graduated on Wednesday- full cap and gown affair for 6 year olds- bunches of flowers for the kids and some bunches that were made entirely of lolly pops, land of hope and glory playing loudly in the background as the non graduating younger kids fought and kicked the graduates in front of them.
I really don't like kinder- I never signed up for doing three hours a day of glorified babysitting- the cuteness wears off incredibly fast. An average kinder morning involves me being an integral part of an argument about were on the table the crayons should live and minutes later this develops into a fight over origami paper. Clearly a class can't commence without two paper swans, 3 apples and a lotus being constructed. A game of rock paper scissors gets under way to determine who gets to look after the giant eraser, and after 2 bathroom breaks, ample tears being shed, numerous rants from me of "English speaking! No Korean" and all pencils being sharpened, the class finally begins. It rarely goes long before a mobile rings and the class comes to a standstill whilst said child speaks to 'appa' (daddy) and yes, you would be forgiven for thinking I teach 5 year olds in the morning.
Then there's lunch in which the kids speak Korean and I try to learn some new words (yesterday I learned spoon, water and beansprouts) usually I don't learn much because I'm busy trying to master such things as eating a boiled egg with chopsticks or trying to get my head around salad being tangerines and mangoes in mayonnaise.
Then there's special activity class which involves me being victimised by a little Hitler who tries to scratch, kick and punch me when I walk in the room. This is just me mind you- not Koreans- not Cintia- just me- his reason-because I'm white with 'yelow hair and blue eyes like a monster'. Actually that makes him some sort of reverse of Hitler but nevertheless- I have a racist six year old.
As afternoon approaches I am normally at the end of my tether and reading a dictionary in the staff room whilst comfort eating whatever the parents have tried to bribe us with today- usually donuts, Starbucks muffins or pizza. At this point a bus load of hyperactive eight year olds arrives in takewondo uniforms and saves me from my distress. On an average day I walk into peach class to hear Elin, a princess with permed hair a manicure and sporting a sickeningly bright pink fur coat, (I kid you not) asking me some question that no 8 year old should ask such as what present continuous verbs are. Judy on occasion pulls a hamster out of her book bag. My desk will be full of snacks from Sydney (yes she's named after a city that her Dad once went on holiday to and liked) and short fat Wendy is trying to fight takewondo style with tall thin Jun and failing miserably. I have to admire her courage, he's a black belt and she's a yellow but this seems not to phase her.
I then have smelly class which after putting in 100% effort- may learn 2 words in an hour and then forget them in about 30 mins.
So after that, the day kind of speeds up, I have a couple of classes that refuse to speak English yet somehow seem to think that I understand Korean and I'm just faking it. By 6pm I am normally in a better mood than I started in until I teach Theodore Roosevelt- yes- that's his name, who tries to prove himself by saying words that I don't know and casually asking me where in Asia he would find a tundra. When I tell him I have no idea he huffs. Roosevelt hates travel- he's openly racist- usually towards the Japanese and tries to convince me that Korea is the best country in the world and there is no need to go anywhere else. Obviously I struggle to keep my mouth closed and about twenty minutes of the lesson is taken up by a debate about the importance of world travel, in which I technically win because I undercut him with a word he doesn't know to stump him, *evil cackle*. Meanwhile the other child in the class, Jonah, yes, named after Jonah of Jonah and the whale fame, is sitting translating words such as 'nomadic' into Korean.
On Thursdays we finish early for the weekly meeting. Justin introduces the boss, she comes in with a list of notes, shouts in Korean rarely taking a breath, scribbles out the notes as she speaks and of a particularly stressed day she actually goes through the paper. After around half an hour of a bored Cintia and I writing post its to each other and kicking each other under the desk, the boss reaches the end of the list and walks off without saying bye or even smiling and we wait for Justin's translation, last week this was the exact quote "She wants you to make sure you check the kids homework" well that's 30 mins of my life that I will never get back.
Hmm so that's my week until I have 5 days off in July.
Oh the other foreigner in my area- the one who I nod at as we pass each day, turned out to be one of my friends friends which is weird.
The weather is trying to taunt me- it warmed up to ten degrees from minus 16 and I thought that it was finally over and then plummeted again to minus 3 and started raining which is making me feel strangely at home - the only saving grace in this is after I had finally bought a coat- a fur lined affair- it has had some good use. I have been assured that in the next month it will start to get warm and from there on will just get hotter- be prepared for winging about that too-but I'm British it's my job to complain.
Overall things are quite settled- I am starting to love my lifestyle. It's cheaper to eat out than eat in and I have a cinema 5 mins walk from my house, where I have regular dates with a wonderful girl called Emily Ingham- we get along great and have so much in common. What makes me laugh about the cinema is that when I go on my own the ticket is always for a seat next to someone so the other day when I went to see Changeling I was on an empty row sat next to someone else on their own- it's very odd.
This week I have been out for dinner twice £15 bought season two of Grey's Anatomy £8, had my nails done £5 been to seen two films £14 (including popcorn and beer- yes beer- how every European of them) and been to the gym 4 times £8. Fantastic.
Talking about having my nails done- I got to a place in the building that Tesco is in. The girls that work there are very shy of me and giggle if they have to speak to me. In fact I have only ever heard them say 'colour?' and 'thank you' in English. They have now established that if they switch the BBC entertainment channel on that it relieves the silences and everyone's a winner. I've been pretty much forced to watch Blackadder, The Weakest Link and some sort of Silent Witness kind of thing in the past few weeks (not that I'm complaining). Anyway I went in last week and Footballers Wives was on. There was a scene where on of the women got out of bed wearing her underwear, the woman filling my nails looks up at the screen, screams in a pitch only heard by dogs, points and waves her finger madly at the screen and shouts "huge bust" before erupting into fits of giggles. I sat bewildered for a spilt second, half at the fact that this shy little wall flower had just exploded and secondly that she knew the word 'bust', I then couldn't control myself and started laughing from the bottom of my stomach and for a good few minutes until the pair of us were crying. Clearly her English is better than she lets on and we seem to have broken the ice.
Hmm so I think that's all my news. I went to Gwangju which isn't much of a story- Of the 35 hours I was there about 8 were spent on a bus and 15 in bed because I felt so ill, I don't know what was wrong with me but it only lasted a couple of days.
Right I'm off- the school bus driver that we all call "Grandfather" (I have no idea why. As far as I know he isn't any of the kids grandfathers but I'm going along with it nonetheless) just brought me a box of almonds? What? Crazy place.
Take care.
Much love
Em x
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