Again, sorry for the lack of contact. I can only see it as a good thing that my letters are becoming further apart. Firstly I don't have the time to write them because I seem to have eventually found some sort of social life and secondly it shows that I am by no means homesick- In fact I think I only keep in touch at all to keep good relations up so I continue to get teabags and gravy. No, in all seriousness, I do miss people but with Skype, emails and parcels it's fine. Jess and Joe are over at the moment and came with crumpets and spaghetti hoops- superb.
So... news. Usually my emails are centred on Korea and it's weird carryings on. I can't say I have had much contact with Korean culture this month. I mention culture specifically because I have found a different, more unusual culture shock- real expat culture. When I first got here I found the expats that I met, to be quite dull and a bit hard to get to know so I stuck with the few people I did get on with and tried to koreanify myself a bit. I have given this expat thing another shot and it turns out that the good ones, the cream of the expat crop are all hiding away. I found a lot in a bar on a street of brothels in Itaewon. The people I now spend most weekends with are all 25 years older than me at least, BBC corespondents, animators, university lecturers, foreign diplomats and embassy officials (You see some drunken man singing a Pogues song and later realise that he's very high up in Reuters) all propping up a bar until around 6am on a street named hooker hill.
Now ignoring the fact that I also managed to stumble across Seoul's red light district in order to meet these people in the first place, I have decided that the middle aged are the best friends to have. I mean what are friends for really? They entertain you, listen to you whinge and give advice. I've been looking in the wrong age bracket. As much as I 'love the bones' (Ellie W quote) of my friends at home, they're not here so I have to make do. So yes, these people have stories to tell, and good stories at that, nothings better than a bar full of divorcees that, instead of a mid life crisis and a nervous breakdown gave the wife the house and moved 7000 miles away. And, whist me and my friends are waiting to learn from bad stuff in the hope of one day appearing wise and knowledgeable but without being bitter, these chaps have already done it. Also, I can do whatever I want because at some point they'll all become old and senile and forget.
Anyway, after many a bonding session in the bar with bags of smuggled in Twiglets, good scotch and tales of hair loss, I met one of the guys nephews who owns another bar in Itaewon (not on hooker hill though) After very effectively managing to disguise that he liked me in a manner that frankly came across as standoffish and rude, his uncle did a Cilla and pretty much forced us to be in the same place at the same time. Apparently he'd been trying to speak to me for months but I'd not noticed- although thinking back I had missed the fact that I got free drinks every time I went into the bar. Anyway we've been seeing each other for 6 weeks. He's called Shawn he's half American and half Korean, 25 and makes a very nice pina colada. With very bad timing his 'mom' came to visit from America two weeks ago and I had to meet her. I wasn't excited in the least. Korean parents are far from my favorite people but it turned out that she was American as they come and greeted me with a beer and a hug and before I left she tipsily said to me "nice to meet you hun but I don't know why you're with my son, my other son is much better looking"!
Shawn's taking me to Shanghai for 4 days next month for my birthday and I can't wait. I need to get out of Seoul. Shawn's bar is open until around 6am at weekends so he never gets breaks either. Annoyingly to see him at the weekend I prop the bar up like an old floozy, gin and tonic in one hand, wildly gesticulating with the other whilst tales of afar and requesting songs that remind me of times long gone. I seem to be developing into some sort of Blanche Dubois character.
If these emails have told you anything about me you'll know that I love nothing better than people watching. So sitting at the bar is comedy heaven for me. I've started to notice that foreigners in Seoul are divided into several groups-
the one yearers
the 2-5 yearers
the 12 yearers
the 25+ yearers
That probably doesn't mean much unless you live here but each group has it's own set of stereotypes that generally cause so much of a divide that each group seems to have it's own area of Seoul in which to play and rarely mix. The thing is that whilst Itaewon is quite overbearing because it's like a mix of the deep south of America and Amsterdam (minus blues, legalised drugs and Anne Frank) it's the only place where everyone come to mingle due to the lure of western food, red bull and sports bars- all imported, God love them, by the American military.
The guys that have been here over 25 years are a bit of a lost cause, they don't speak much, usually overbearingly miserable with wrinkles to match the years of frowning.
The 12 years crew are the cool ones, mentioned above. They are the divorcees, they appreciate the finer things in life- a good chat, a good cheddar and a nice local beer. In a high school setting these guys are the popular kids. They don't need to make friends- people try to make friends with them.
The 2-5 ers long to be like the 12 yearers but also tend to have got a bit bitter about everything and spend a lot of time winging- usually about the 1 yearers. Whilst the 12 year people came over as adults in the mid nineties (maybe to escape Brit pop and to hold on to their mullets), the 2-5 ers came instead of going to uni and just never left. They are quite hard to speak to and seem to be trying to prove a point but trying to one up everyone with how much they know and how worldly wise they are. I personally think that they are just trying to suck up to the 12 year guys.
The one yearers meanwhile are bopping about often in fancy dress having a great time and not even noticing all the above.
I was fully in the latter bracket until I glipsed everything from the perspective of the 12 year lot. Now everything is just much much funnier to watch.
I sat at the bar last week and just watched the goings on.
On the left were the newbies- the shot drinkers in "Ben's Birthday Bash" shirts and showing too much skin for Korea's delicate sensibilities. Next to them was a 25 year guy- ex military with a sour face and a pint of bitter to match his under the breath mumblings. The 12 year guys nodded to the 25 year bloke out of respect and he tried to make a joke but which came out as offensive- polite laughs followed. Another 12 yearer comes in having returned from visiting home is bearing Tupperware containing a selection of Morrison's cheese and pork pies. They all share the produce over a nice local brew and a cigar that a friend of a friend from the embassy got from Cuba and another adds some walkers crisps and a few creme eggs to the feast. Next is a long line of Korean girlfriends of the 2-5 year lot. They have created a little group of their own in which they talk about going to live in America and pending engagements. The 2-5 yeares are in their little clique sharing private jokes and behind them are the military guys hogging the pool table although nobody says anything to them about it in order to avoid a fight.
It never varies it rarely mixes and it happens week in week out. It's like an episode of the Royle family/ Early Doors and yet nobody seems to realise how ridiculous it all is. We all find it very hard to understand the social hierarchy of Korean culture yet none of us seem to realise that out of only 40,000 foreigners in the whole of Korea we pigeon hole ourselves yet again until out of the possible 39,999 expats we could mingle with we speak to all of 4. I think I'm going to keep up with this wandering the divide of different groups thing, I think it will benefit all concerned.
Outside my new found expat lifestyle not much has changed-
The weather is gorgeous- the cherry blossom is out making everything look like a postcard and monsoon rain is yet to start. The mosquitoes have returned the size of sparrows but I'm armed this time.
My Korean is improving- I'm trying to get away from nouns onto something a bit more conversational but I'm still at the bottom of a very big hill with it. My reading is much faster now though and everything is making a lot more sense.
The new school term started and I was given the tiny kids which despite my wining has taught me to be more patient and a little more caring.
My afternoon kids are still my favorites though and I am so proud of them. I was in my favorite class last week and the following conversation happened which made me realise how far these kids had come in the 6 months since they arrived at beginner level.
Me: "So it's 'I wasn't' 'I won't be' ' I am not'. When I little I used to say 'I amn't"
(Class laughs except Elin)
Elin: But what is it teacher?
(I go to answer but Judy gets there first)
Judy: "There is no contraction for am not"
I feel like I have created some sort of Frankenstein's monster, surely 8 year olds shouldn't understand this stuff?
Anyway enough from me, I have noodles to eat and laundry to do. Please let me know what's going on in your lives- all this talk of me is going to turn me all Narcissistic.
much love,
Em
x
PS- Cheeky birthday list-
semolina powder
chocolate
fake tan wipes or moisturiser
underwear- 12/34d
fajita and taco spice powder
flip flops/ sandals/pumps size 6
space raiders salt and vinegar flavor
fizzy sweets
x
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