I think the last time I got in touch was in Boston. Boston was freezing so we left to go to Houston. On the flight from the UK to Boston we had briefly stopped in New York and Shawn had promised me that he would take me back there. So before we left for Houston, we spent 3 days in New Jersey with Shawn’s very cool Aunt Vicki and Uncle Ed and their incredibly cute little boys Jonathan and Robert.
Vicki and Ed then drove us to New York city which was the best view from a car window I have ever seen.
Shawn and I stayed in a hotel three blocks away from the Empire State building, amazing view. I spent the entire three days in New York speaking in “Oooooooohhhhs, Eeeeekkkkks and Woowwwwwws” I had forgotten the feeling of complete unrestrained excitement and adrenaline that you get as a child. I travel to places like India, Vietnam, Korea. As much as it’s exciting, you’re on constant mental overdrive of language differences, culture differences, what and where to take transportation. New York was my Disneyland. It has the excitement that most western cities lack but is simple and easy. You can walk everywhere, you speak the same language, it has every nationality and every cuisine but it's all as exciting as a full on spider eating, tuk-tuk riding, backpack toting culture shock. Literally every main sight is within a few square miles of each other. We took one taxi in three days. As you fly in you see the statue of liberty out of the window. People dress perfectly but still look uber interesting and cool. Inner city parks are full of fashionistas walking pedigree pooches. Amazing deli sandwiches or perfect pizzas are never more than a few yards away and that Italian New Yorker accent is the huge juicy cherry on the cupcake that is Manhattan.
Shawn thought he wouldn’t really like it, he saw it as girl's paradise but in the end he really did. He loves zoos so we went to Central Park Zoo, he loved FAO Schwartz Toy shop and Times Square Toys are Us (this makes it seem like my boyfriend is 5) He wasn’t all that keen when I made him walk to the other end of Manhattan to visit Carrie’s house (Sex and the City character).
“Do we go into the house, is it like a museum?”
“No somebody lives there”
“Well what do you do then”
“You sit on her front steps and take a picture”
(eyes roll, deep sigh) “Ok…I see”
New Yorkers are a different breed. They notice quality a mile off. Shawn, who most of you will know, tends to dress in jeans, trainers and a polo shirt most days. He also however, wears his dad's very very expensive watch which nobody would ever realise was a very very expensive watch because it isn't paired with a suit and briefcase. About four people commented on his watch in New York just in passing on the street or in a shop.
Anyway we flew from there to Houston to stay with Shawn’s grandma for two weeks. Shawn’s Grandma is an interesting woman. She’s really lovely, she adores Shawn, but is possibly, the most depressing and negative person I have ever met. It was the human equivalent of spending a fortnight with Eyore and since which Pooh Bear and chums have gone up in my estimations. Shawn really does have the patience of a Saint and bends over backwards for her even though he rarely gets thanks. I think that this is lovely but when Shawn asked whether we could live in Houston so his Grandma could move in with us, I had to draw the line.
We left Houston late one night in a rented miniature red Toyota Yaris laden with the bulk of our life possessions and no room to swing a cat. We were the Beverly Hillbillies (but driving to Atlanta). We were warned pre-departure of places not to stop en-route as Shawn looks 'a bit foreign' and you don't want to take any risks in a tumbleweed, one horse towns. I had visions at this point of being chased out of town by one toothed bearded men with pitchforks, I wasn't quite sure if this was funny or not. Oh how vastly different this was to New York.
Now in my Hollywood obsessed brain, drunk on glitter, road trips are clearly, exactly like Thelma and Louise, minus the police chase and suicide. In my road trip dream, I am obviously wearing a head scarf, pair of Jackie O’s and halter neck dress, wind blowing through my hair, laughing loudly, gesticulating wildly at the joke that my Tom Cruise (in Top Gun- not now) look-alike sidekick just told.
In reality a road trip is nothing more than a long straight three lane road with dry dead grass along the side and the occasional Waffle house and Gas station dotted about for decoration. Unlike the dream, I'm wearing Pyjamas and a 'too much caffeine induced' crazed expression. The car rapidly filling up with empty wrappers. Similar tat rustles around my feet and sticks to my legs. Drinks holders containing empty coffee cups that have become makeshift bins. It’s bleak.
Driving through the very outskirts of Baton Rouge was the highlight of the trip where they had a Taco Bell. My recollection of the journey is simple-Texas took hours to get out of, Louisiana is one long bridge, Mississippi had a fair amount of road kill. Alabama does have a fun accent but not much else and by Georgia I couldn’t keep my eyes open so I’m not sure what was going on there.
However, the 13 hours we spent non stop driving was possibly the most polite time we have spent together since we first met. Shawn and I bicker like old women when we’re bored (I say ‘we’ but it’s mainly me, Shawn is far too placid for such caper) but in this situation, we were no fools. 13 hours in a Toyota Yaris would be hell on Earth if one or both of us had a cob on so we politely played 5 of Shawn’s songs followed by 5 of my songs, I knew the mapquest directions off by heart so not to be the unprepared ditsy co-pilot and we conversed about nice things like "would you like a sip of coffee?" "I wonder how the dog is" and "didn't your friends have a lovely kitchen". By the time we arrived we felt very Little House on the Prairie.
Arriving in Atlanta was heavenly. I seemed to be so exhausted at the time that I didn’t realise that Shawn’s Mom had the biggest house that I had ever stepped foot in. I just collapsed into a coma on the bed, after, of course, the obligatory eating of a mound of food (Our house is just a miniature Korea, complete with force feeding, If I have full hands, she force feeds me. I'm fois gras).
Since then, we have moved to a smaller house. Shawn's family are so lovely to me. His brother is the one that I natter to and gossip with and his sister is stunningly beautiful and the nicest person in the world. She is so very happy and friendly all the time. Shawn's 'Mom' insists that I call her Omma (mummy in Korean). I am very happy here although I do miss my family very very much and Skype is a blessing. Shawn's Mom is hilarious, she's always pronouncing things wrong. She heard Shawn swear the other day and clobbered him round the head shouting "wash your mouse, wash your mouse". Oh how I giggled at the image of Shawn with soap and a lathered up rodent.
So basically we are living in Atlanta. I am trying to get a visa and Shawn is looking for a job. We spend a lot of time fishing (more fun than I thought) and we have compromised about Shawn's Grandma in Houston by him visiting her every few months.
All this 24/7 time together seems to have fast tracked us to middle age. I took a brief reality check whilst sat in bed the other day. Shawn was in his woody Woodpecker ‘jamas and Deidre Barlow ‘post- contact lense removal’ speks, sporting a snazzy breathe right nosestrip whilst Ped-egging his feet. I was wittering inanely about not much in particular whilst listening to Julie Walter’s memoirs on audiobook and pairing up odd socks up into mildly matching couples. Hmmm sad oh so sad.
I have to go now because the women sat next to me have had an incident with a cup of coffee and a white suit and I, in my new middle aged way, have a Shout travel wipe in my bag that I need to fish out and save the day.
Much love everybody, I miss you very much
Em xxx
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